D I S Q U I E T U D E – verses of darkness, sweetness & light

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broken sunsets. dismal  rain.
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(sent this to Emerging Visions #22 – hope they include it 😀 )
Note: Yup, this poem has been picked up for Emerging Visions #22: Gifting Gaea – out on April 22 🙂
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skyscrapers pierce the heavens
on high. i sigh. sigh.
gargantuan structures obscure the vast landscape
that used to be a forest,
that used to be a glade,
that used to be a desert,
that used to be a mountain; a hill. all seems still.
the acid rain pours ferociously
as engines weep, picking up velocity, screaming & screeching
and people run like zombies; in haste, we scramble
to partake of our serving of the daily grind. bitter. acrid. rancid. unpleasant.
you don’t see me. nor they,  you.
Image
drops of rain obscure our reflections in the glass. we pass. judgement.
in the darkness, we grope
make way. make way.
?
where does this path lead to?
we end life so we can create
we destroy in order to flourish
we have laughed at what we should have wept for. ought to have wept for.
we are blind and we know it
we blind ourselves some more
the path leads back to you. me. us.
the life we obliterate is our own.
we chase dreams
fantasies where each one is king or queen
of the world…
… the earth we have ruined.
lifeless. barren. empty.
the path leads back to you. me. us.
the life we obliterate is our own.
yet we hope. i hope. must hope.
let your eyes hover… see what is left
for us to build on. now.
i must learn to love myself
it is the only way
i can love you. all of you.
love yourself. so you can love me.
i am on a journey; reflecting on
the path that leads back to you. me. us.
the life we create is our own.
there is still life to celebrate after all
beyond
the broken sunsets. dismal rain.

© Lovely Claire Dangalan, 2012

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an imaginary life
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 i see the ghost of a princess
          a shadow
          a face in the snow
framed in silken waves of molten gold
sometimes dark crimson, at times velvet black
a pale face devoid of hope
waiting to be rescued from the dragon
the dragon
          strange, imposing
          awful to behold
          smoldering eyes
with an infernal breath
of mortal fire
guarding his mistress – the witch
the witch
          cruel and taunting
          the enemy
of whose?
perhaps misunderstood?
a recluse with strange creatures
conjured to do her bidding
has met her match
          in the wizard
the wise wizard of old
master of histories & potions
          keeper of secrets
          of incantations
on a quest to fulfill a promise
an oath from long ago
bid the unicorn
the magical unicorn
          pure, graceful, a healer of the sick
 “go forth and find the prince”
the handsome prince
the valiant
the rescuer of maidens
          saving those clouded in despair
          bearer of the beacon of hope
          bringer of light in darkness
a fort in the face of a hurricane
calm before a storm
steadfast, firm, unperturbed
with the face of an angel
a heart of gold
both meek & mighty
          as was foretold
no promise is to be broken
no quest is impossible
no obstacle unconquerable
no task too small
no person insignificant
now the damsel in distress
          is an innocent princess
          taken as a babe in her swaddling clothes
by the witch
           as revenge
           for a wrong no longer known
“go forth brave prince and rescue your princess”
the princess of your dreams
          a child, a woman
          a bewitching beauty
          so perfect, oh it seems!
and the princess dreams her dreams
of a frog prince
the frog prince of yore
stoop down, she will, to pick him up
          and kiss with a perfect kiss
alas! the kiss
          the perfect kiss!
has left the frog prince unchanged!
and the princess dreaming
realizes, yawning, oh but she was sleeping!
she awakens from her fantastical scheming
a broken reverie
she has longed to linger in
          there is no dragon
                           no witch or wizard
                           no unicorn, no prince
just a void
          of forlorn desolation
the emptiness of space
          in the life unfulfilled
          of an ordinary face
the princess who is not a princess
is alone once more.
© Lovely Claire Dangalan, 2012
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IF THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW
(For Brian)
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If the world ends tomorrow
And life as we know it
ceases to exist…The trees in the forest
The trees in the streets & the boulevards
The lonely palm in the middle of the desert
The tiny plants crawling across the tundra
The wildflowers in the fields and the mountains
The flowers in gardens
The fish, the deer and the maya
All animals at sea, on land and in the air…
All insects – crawling, flying and digging deep into the ground…
All disappear. When the brooks, the springs, the streams, the rivers no longer flow into the glorious blue sea…
and the sky has become one dark frightening hue,
When everything has been buried in water that has run high…
Or has been scorched into nothingness by the flames of judgment…

Every thing gone, everything done.

When the end that has been foretold many times over
When the end we have feared has come
When the world ends,
if it ends tomorrow…
My only regret would be
That I have not told you enough,
That I have not shown you enough:
I love you.

© Lovely Claire Dangalan, 2012

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tHe sILENt RooM

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iT kILLS

© Lovely Claire Dangalan, 2012

Prosaic Aphorisms – A Cautionary Tale :)

April 6, 2012: Hello there stranger!

Hola! Welcome to my teeny tiny world… I am a wrinkled grape, a reject, fallen onto the ground – waiting to turn into a “raisin in the sun” before the vineyard is put to “better” use, converted into a greenfield 🙂

Running on empty, with miles to go… running through extremely humid &  scorching summers, with a few balmy days in between in this odd little place in the Middle East; my shoes are ruined.

Held them together with 3M Super Glue 🙂

I miss the pleasantly sunny summers & the rain-drenched wet seasons back home. Typhoons have come & gone. Earthquakes have plagued my life. But the greatest cause of my private sorrows & pain are my own bad decisions and iniquities.

My life is a cautionary tale… for whom?

It’s anybody’s guess. All I want to do is write and hope that a stranger like you would drop by and take a peek into a microcosm called “my life”.

Once in a while I’ll be posting something here… sort of like journal entries. 🙂

Am terribly unhappy. At times, ecstatic… optimistic & hopeful. And then sad, apathetic… withdrawing from the world.

But who hasn’t felt this way? Haven’t we all got a story to tell? If anyone would care to listen.

And I agree, I am a pain in the ass. I am.

Like you, I am determined to make it to the finish line. 😀

 

May 8, 2014: Two years have gone by…

How do I start narrating what happened to me here – in this great city called Dubai? I mean, great for some, maybe. Not really for me. But I am here, trapped and unhappy. I must cope. I have coped. And I will continue coping. Work starts in an hour… tomorrow, I guess I can write some more. Perhaps even everything.